In today’s world, using someone’s preferred name and pronouns is a fundamental aspect of showing respect and acknowledging their identity. However, not everyone adheres to this practice, often clinging to outdated norms or disregarding individuals’ gender identities.
Bennett Kaspar-Williams, a 37-year-old non-binary individual, recently shared their story of becoming a parent. In October 2020, Kaspar-Williams gave birth to their son Hudson via cesarean section, with the support of their husband, Malik. Despite identifying as male at the time and using he/him/his pronouns (Kaspar-Williams now identifies as non-binary and uses both he/him/his and they/them pronouns), they faced challenges at the hospital when nurses repeatedly misgendered them.
Kaspar-Williams began their transition in 2014, after realizing they were transgender in 2011. Although they underwent top surgery, they chose not to undergo procedures on their lower body. The journey of pregnancy and childbirth was a complex and emotional experience for Kaspar-Williams, who felt disheartened by medical staff assuming their gender and mislabeling them as a mother.
Despite specifying their gender on medical forms, the nursing staff continued to misgender Kaspar-Williams during interactions. Following Hudson’s birth, Kaspar-Williams has become an advocate for recognizing that childbirth is no longer necessarily tied to gender identity.
Kaspar-Williams expressed their distress over being consistently misgendered during childbirth, highlighting the importance of disconnecting womanhood from motherhood. They emphasized that being born with a uterus does not guarantee conceiving or carrying a child, and that not all people who carry children identify as mothers.
Kaspar-Williams’ story underscores the complexities of identity and the importance of respecting individuals’ self-identification. By sharing their experience, they hope to raise awareness and promote understanding of the transgender community.
Their journey serves as a powerful reminder that parenthood knows no boundaries, and that everyone deserves respect and acknowledgment, regardless of their gender identity.
