One day, my husband Jake shared a plan with me that would supposedly help me “improve” as a wife. But instead of getting defensive, I saw an opportunity to teach him a valuable lesson about marriage and respect.
Jake’s new friend Steve had been filling his head with outdated ideas about marriage, where wives are expected to be submissive and focus solely on domestic duties. Jake started to echo these sentiments, even giving me a ridiculous list of tasks to complete, like waking up at 5 a.m. to cook breakfast and spending hours at the gym.
I didn’t laugh it off or get angry. Instead, I created a second list, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever,” with equally absurd demands, like hiring a personal trainer and increasing his income to replace mine.
When Jake saw his own list, the reality of his expectations hit him hard. I explained that marriage is about mutual respect, not trying to change each other. Jake apologized, and we both tore up the lists, learning a valuable lesson.
We realized that marriage is a team effort, not a competition. Rather than trying to “improve” each other, we should appreciate what makes each other unique. Jake also learned to think critically about the advice he receives from others. Our marriage has since become stronger and more equal, built on a foundation of respect and trust.